What I found out was that, as in most cases, my 'cancer' isn't clearly on one side of the fence or the other...what I mean by that, is that the next steps aren't crystal clear and options will be presented when we get to the oncologist on May 20. Because of my age, and the fact that the cancer was on both sides, chemo may be part of the plan. The nurse phrased is as "the BC Cancer Agency wants to give you the best possible insurance plan, that this cancer will never show up again"...that's a plan I can agree with. My family doctor said to prepare myself for possibly being through this a year from now... Meanwhile, I had hoped to have this all wrapped up by June 20!!! I also have an appointment with a doctor at Inspire Health Dr next week, where Paul and I will get 90 minutes to process the results and formulate questions and ideas before our oncology appointment.
Funny enough - having the day to process, reflect, listen to others who know more - I didn't feel as anxious.
What I have learned is that I need info, calmly and clearly presented, so that I can think through what is being said. I also need to notice my expectations - of myself, others, this disease - and adjust as I am able. What strategies do you use to 'climb out of the hole'....?
The other learning for me was that people showed up - close and far away - the texts, emails, notes, flowers, offers for meals, encouragement all flowed in... and that is something I am eternally grateful for. I am also grateful to have had almost 3 weeks of visits with my kids - Becca, last to leave, heads to the airport at 4:10 am tomorrow! It's easier to 'climb out of the hole' with such caring and family around :-)